I Need Prozac After Looking At Pinterest

pinterest cats

Image from sfgate.com.

“Creativity is piercing the mundane to find the marvelous.” –Bill Moyers

I was browsing Pinterest yesterday to get some ideas for Halloween costumes and Christmas cookies. At first I was like “this is awesome! I want to do that! And that! And OMG that!!” But after an hour of all this awesomeness, I realized that Pinterest makes me feel like a complete failure as a human being.

I know that I have my limitations, but I never thought my creativity or cooking skills were among them. Then I saw this.

ice cream man costume
Image from http://www.buzzfeed.com and Pinterest.

What. The. Chicken. Livers? (NOTE: I was recently told that I am becoming far too comfortable using the word “fuck,” so I had to replace it with some other less offensive phrase. No one could be offended by chicken livers, right? Well, maybe PETA. Shitballs. Now I have to start all over again.)

Anyway, I was seriously considering just throwing a sheet over Little Man with a sign that said “Linus,” but if I really loved my son I would totally transform him into a mini vending machine.

vending machine
Image from http://www.buzzfeed.com and Pinterest.

I wonder if it would count if I just glued a bunch of candy bars on him? I am the worst mother ever. I am so screwed when it comes time for him to pick out my nursing home.

These people are amazing, but they are also completely pissing me off. As if I didn’t feel badly enough that my fake Facebook life isn’t as exciting as my friends’ fake Facebook lives, now I have to deal with Pinterest over-achievers? Either these folks are the most organized, multi-tasking time-managers on the planet, or they are doing copious amounts of methamphetamine.

I got so depressed looking at the costumes by people who actually have the talent I thought I did, that I decided to start looking at some Christmas cookie ideas. After all, I know I have cooking skillz.

Then I saw this.

snowmen cookies

Image from Pinterest.

And this.

Christmas cookie box

Image from Pinterest.

And this.

gingerbread cookies

Image from Pinterest/ caketime.blox.pl.

Chicken livers! Everyone is getting a store-bought fruitcake this year. Β© Racheal Lee Bradford

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12 thoughts on “I Need Prozac After Looking At Pinterest

  1. Don Royster says:

    In the creativity department, you have all those pinterestians beat. You are a BLOGGER. Hear you ROAR.

    Like

  2. I feel this way about Instagram sometimes. Starting to make me feel like all my outfits and food have to be IG-worthy, lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I always opt for the ever creative Puppy Chow!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ooooh, a Puppy Chow costume? How do you do that? πŸ™‚

    Like

  5. Mom says:

    Soooooo, what IS he going to be for Halloween this year? πŸ™‚

    Like

  6. Chris Capestrain says:

    I feel your pain. Decorating and cookie making for me is a major project.

    Like

  7. Lora says:

    Hahaha! You’re a riot and I’m so glad I stumbled on your blog today. I’m convinced these Pinterest wonders have got to be neglecting their children, OR getting grandma to help. Who’s got that kind of time?!

    Like

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